Clemence continues her introspection in her relationship to alcohol and explains the whole process that helped her to stop drinking. This is the third episode of his Notebooks of Sobriety.

Stop the alcohol: help for the first step
The psychiatrist quickly confirmed to me : I'm not an alcoholic . I suspected it a little, but it reassured me to hear it.

Asking for help is difficult, but it helped me to unblock a problem that kept me in check for over a year.

I probably would not have been the first to deny my alcoholism, if any. It is no coincidence that the cliché of Alcoholics Anonymous, it is to present itself by qualifying as alcoholic, I imagine.

We identified together the other "pressures" in my life that fed this taste a little too pronounced for the drink.

I did not stop drinking overnight , but the further I went in my therapy, the more clearly I saw the reasons and motivations that drove me to lift my elbow.

It only took a few sessions, no doubt also because I indulged very quickly, but I remember an invaluable lesson.

Asking for help is difficult, accepting help is even more so, but this process can unlock in four one-hour sessions a problem that has held me in check for more than one year. Magic, is not it?

This work of introspection that I hastily concluded with "a lack of will," the psychiatrist helped me to take it more seriously.

The goal was to specifically identify the "sliding" mechanisms that fueled my strong propensity for alcohol-induced disinhibition.

I often drank to be more comfortable, faster in the evening mood, or to have easy laughter.

I did not even realize that solving the problems that affected my moods, my state of mind, was perhaps a better solution than trying to dissolve them in hops.

Lindsay-lohan alcohol

Gradually rid of the "need" to drink - let's call a cat a cat, I was able to take a closer look at the desire to drink. And to evaluate these desires, by the yardstick of that to stop completely.

I want to stop drinking to be healthy
It was more than a desire, actually.

In making an inventory of the reasons that led me to stop drinking, I especially found wills.

And the first of them was to put an end to a deep contradiction at home: I am vegan essentially for health reasons (among others), but I raise my elbow five times a week at the bar ...

Look for the mistake ... Like a smoker who swears by the bio. Do not worry about coconut, it's not the cancer of the stomach that will be first at the gate.

I knew, because of my frequency of consumption, that "a good glass of wine" is not intrinsically good.

And just as a smoker can no longer ignore that it decreases his life expectancy with each cigarette, I knew that - contrary to what the old Café des Deux Moulins says in Amélie Poulain, "a good glass of wine" is not intrinsically good at the frequency with which I consumed them.

I strive to have a healthy and balanced diet , but I regularly allow myself a poison by the drink.

At this point, I can still go on stuffing myself with cheese, my stomach enjoying both lactose and excess alcohol.

And good, "just a piece" makes me the same effect as "just a drink": I do not feel the difference ... Until it becomes a habit, and my body protests, weakened, against the polluted fuel that I provide him.

Do we take inventory? I drink, I think it helps me sleep but it dehydrates me so I wake up thirsty, I sleep interrupted, I'm tired.

I go out at night, I let myself drink a drink, two, three ...

I come back late (I do not sleep enough), I do not cover myself enough (I take cold, but as I drank, I do not feel it), I go home and I have a big cravings so I eat anything what (we never had a desire for green vegetables at 4am, or besides a cooked day, is not it) ...

No doubt a problem of color and what it recalls, if you know what I mean) ...

Result? The sequence is repeated, and if at the beginning it passes, more weeks go by and more ... I do not get sick. To catch the beak, a bronchitis, an infection or a virus which hangs out ... And that's it.

Sleep cycles follow a balance. I wonder what it would give, at home, if I could not disturb them with alcohol anymore.

I struggled to drink fresh juices and eat more fruit to make up for sugar cravings and drinks, which would have made me bleed a beer before.

Binge-watching on Saturday afternoon? I'm going to buy a kilo of cherries (or clementines, depending on the season) rather than a pack of beer.

It takes my hands and stomach, and it's good for you. And it's cheaper, by the way, since I was so worried about the red balloon's economic argument.

A glass on the terrace with the girlfriends? I take a juice. Yes, it's expensive, but eh. Even if I take two, it will always cost me less than my bill last Saturday. TMTC.

And when I'm invited somewhere, I do not even have the excuse of the price: I drink soft or hot drink, and basta.

Yeah, before I stopped drinking, I started stopping bad faith!

I want to play sports to help me stop drinking
I needed a more concrete goal than "improve my health"

But improving my health was a vague goal. I needed a more concrete one, and I did not have to look long.

I had already tried to put myself back into sport as a way to stop drinking during my chess year, but I realized it was not a way: it must be a goal.

Have we ever seen athletes put a mine on the eve of a competition? I'm talking about real sportsmen, not students, is it?

No, because as explained in the previous point, alcohol has a detrimental influence on the normal functioning of the body.

A fortiori , when you have the ambition to push your limits, pouring alcohol in the machine seems to me as counterproductive as putting rum in the tank of a race car.

It's going to end badly.

I remembered the kiff it was, to cross the arrival of a 20-kilometer, skin burning with sweat, legs heavy with fatigue, but light-headed, tall and proud.

This is a drunkenness that is worth a thousand at 12 ° C.

How I proceeded
I signed up for a gym near the office and had to go four times a week.

Rather in the morning, but if I went to bed too late or if I had not slept well, I preferred the break or the exit from the office before dinner.

I started to participate in Running Mad ! That was a real motivation, to be able to go out with a group, and nothing like a good madmoiZelle crew, guaranteed without judgment and parasitic frisbee, to seriously get back to the race.

As the appointment is at 10am on Saturday morning, it gave me a good reason not to drink on Friday night.

And hop, a big temptation weekly evacuated a positive motivation!

In addition, we would regularly enjoy a good veggie burger after running. With all the money I saved by no longer passing it to my favorite bartenders, one menu a week, it was a gift, really.

Race result (pun intended)? In three months, I even managed to add two 5km morning outings before going to work.

I will not tell you that I lost weight (I do not know), but I feel better in my body, which goes up three floors without running out of steam, and starts to surprise me with its sports performances .

Who would've believed that ? Not me, a year ago.

I want to stop drinking to regain control

Stop drinking, especially in France where alcohol consumption is almost a cultural fact, it would probably require more than a desire to beat my personal record in the half marathon (2h21 if you want to know everything).

Who am I, without alcohol in my blood? I do not know.

Basically, I had an excellent reason, which I hesitated to confess, because it was a little paradoxical: I wanted to regain control. Exactly the opposite of why I loved so much drinking! But it worked me ...

What would I give on an empty stomach? I mean, all the time fasting, even in the evening.

By the way, would I go out again? Would that make me shit? All these people whom I frequent only about a glass, would I see them again, would I still appreciate their company if I did not drink any more?

Would not it be like pressing the RESET button in my social life, this case?

Who am I, without alcohol in my blood? I do not know. I wanted to try the experiment.

How I proceeded

From March to June, I stopped drinking five to six days a week. I did not forbid myself a drink here and there on the weekend, as long as I managed to limit myself to: A drink.

At first, it required a conscious effort, and then, from May, it became natural. I did not want to drink anymore, it was (almost) past.

Grosse Teuf arrived, and I made it with orange juice, without straining, without getting bored, always enjoying the company of all the people I met or saw that night.

Being just as tired of the "box" atmosphere, as if I had four pints in the pif. Like what…

But I wanted to go further. Without dec, what would it give, if I stopped completely?


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